Sometimes i wonder why i even bother.

Relationships with people are like the hardest thing. You can never know what the other party is thinking sometimes.And seeing on how we'll all so different i guess theres really no way around this.I really did consider going back into my shell and living in my own world again like i used to but i know deep down its not the way God would want me to be. I've also come to learn that i can only depend on God because people can be so *insert high praise here*.

I'm not going to get so burdened by the world anymore. I'm going to be MYSELF.



| Answers to the name Joshua - 11:15 AM | 0 Comments |




Ever wonder what the world really wants from you?

I DO.

Its like you do your best to try to be the person they hope you can be but in that process the opposite seems to happen. Its perplexing i tell you. Again I'm not going to point fingers anywhere except at myself since i seem to get myself these problems as it is. Maybe I'm too nice for my own good. Is it time to go back to the old me where i had to put up my defenses in a bid to isolate myself from all this? I'm tired of all this cow manure.




| Answers to the name Joshua - 10:19 AM | 0 Comments |




And so today marks the official launch of the redevelopment project that TPMC is embarking on. Honestly i'm excited because it comes at such a time that i am very convicted that GOD is going to cause a break through and bring revival to this land. Not just Toa Payoh, BUT the world at large.

I don't don't know about you, but i'm overwhelmed not that its a lot to ask, but more that i can be a part of it and actually be the said generation that brings this change.

So people, ARE YOU READY???!!!
For if we're unprepared when God sends His revival, we're just going to lose out.

| Answers to the name Joshua - 8:37 PM | 0 Comments |




I HOPE because...

Well so today i went for IHOPE which is actually a youth conference organised by Eagles. Turned out to be a mini TRACkers gathering since i met about 4-5 of them excluding me and Qing Ying so yeah, it was pretty surprising.

Back to the conference, Well i wouldn't exactly call it an excellent conference because i felt the sessions were pretty rushed. Perhaps its just me after being spoiled for so long so i find this conferences not so enough. But i did learn some stuff so fret not, it was not a wasted whole day, i say whole day because to get there at 9 i had to wake up at 7 plus and if u actually look at the post time, u will see its about 12 right now. I'm not going to spell out everything I've learned today, but what i can say is that there were a few matters on which i felt God was speaking to me about. SO if somehow or rather you get some form of strange communication from me, don't panic. I mean no harm, seriously. =)

All for now before i collapse, maybe more tomorrow

| Answers to the name Joshua - 11:55 PM | 0 Comments |




Once again, i think its sick season. I'm getting this really dry throat which results in coughs and the frequent running nose doesn't help either. =( Its been a bad 2 weeks with Quizzes on subjects i barely understand and so the additional stress. And if so if you think thats not bad, i have term tests starting on the 4th of june. YEAP. Schools not too easy but I'll persevere.

Anyway. I've come to realise that I'm not who I've been in the past, as in i seldom even talk to people online now,let alone even go online. I guess could be due to the long and horrible days. I mean i seem to crash like before 11 these days because I'm just so exhausted.

I do value my friends a lot and i want to keep in contact, but its just sometimes you have no idea what to talk about and all feeble attempts to start a conversation are not reciprocated and fizzle out. Perhaps its me not knowing how to start conversations well but somehow i think to keep a good conversation it require both parties putting in an effort and not just substandard responses.

Oh wells. i don't know anymore. How about you tell me what you want?

IHOPE tomorrow =). 1 more long day.

| Answers to the name Joshua - 9:52 PM | 0 Comments |




10 reasons why we should smile.

1.) Smiling makes us attractive.
We are drawn to people who smile. There is an attraction factor. We want to know a smiling person and figure out what is so good.

2) Smiling Changes Our Mood
Next time you are feeling down, try putting on a smile. There's a good chance you mood will change for the better. Smiling can trick the body into helping you change your mood.

3) Smiling is Contagious
When someone is smiling they lighten up the room, change the moods of others, and make things happier. A smiling person brings happiness with them.

4) Smiling Relieves Stress
Stress can really show up in our faces. Smiling helps to prevent us from looking tired, worn down, and overwhelmed. When you are stressed, take time to put on a smile. The stress should be reduced and you'll be better able to take action.

5) Smiling Boosts Your Immune System
Smiling helps the immune system to work better. When you smile, immune function improves possibly because you are more relaxed. Prevent the flu and colds by smiling.

6) Smiling Lowers Your Blood Pressure
When you smile, there is a measurable reduction in your blood pressure.

7) Smiling Releases Endorphins, Natural Pain Killers and Serotonin
Studies have shown that smiling releases endorphins, natural pain killers, and serotonin. Together these three make us feel good. Smiling is a natural drug.

8) Smiling Lifts the Face and Makes You Look Younger
The muscles we use to smile lift the face, making a person appear younger.

9) Smiling Makes You Seem Successful
Smiling people appear more confident, are more likely to be promoted, and more likely to be approached. Put on a smile at meetings and appointments and people will react to you differently.

10) Smiling Helps You Stay Positive
Try this test: Smile. Now try to think of something negative without losing the smile. It's hard. When we smile our body is sending the rest of us a message that "Life is Good!" Stay away from depression, stress and worry by smiling.

Therefore =)))))))))))))))))


| Answers to the name Joshua - 1:19 PM | 0 Comments |




Its a beautiful day.

Somehow todays been great and although its been tough i know deep down that I've got the joy. =))

| Answers to the name Joshua - 9:05 PM | 0 Comments |




So, i forgot to bring my phone to church again today since i seem to be absent minded these days. However turns out i was better off without it. One less distraction during service.

Why? you might ask. Well let me say for now that the 11am service today was awesome, Not just the worship but the speaker who spoke really spoke as the spirit led i felt the Lord speaking to the congregation. The best part however was the ministry time where people were actually healed by the power if the holy spirit. Very Very Powder-ful i say in Pew's English. heh.

So yeah. My days been great and i look forward to the breakthrough that I'm very convicted will happen in 2007 and the years to come not just in TPMC but throughout Singapore. WHOOT!.

| Answers to the name Joshua - 8:52 PM | 0 Comments |




I'm tired.

Slept at 1 plus yesterday and woke up at 6 this morning. =(

And the best part is i still have to prepare for the 2 quizzes tomorrow. There goes my plan of sleeping early tonight.

Living in a crazy world with crazy people. =S


| Answers to the name Joshua - 9:08 PM | 0 Comments |




I really shouldn't be blogging right now, but i need a break.

So, i didn't have to go to school today which i found really great as a break from the usual routine of things. You might be going how good it is to have 1 day off but let me tell you why it wasn't such a good day.

I woke up at 815 this morning so that i could have a little tuition to help me cope with my horrible-ly not simple maths. After which i had to do up the CSAS project which is like due tomorrow. Of course thats not it, let me just say to those who may be wondering i have like 3 quizzes in the next 2 days so go figure. Me the already struggling to stay afloat andt not doing so well faced with 3 quizzes. It pretty much means certain death.

To add to this, somehow or rather the emails just kept coming in which added to my already busy day. Think thats bad enough? I'm beginning to fall sick again. So yeah. so much so for a free day.

Back to Bio chem before that quiz tomorrow.

| Answers to the name Joshua - 11:38 PM | 0 Comments |




I'm tired and i blame all the surveys and APEL stuff i just had to do online. Paperwork paperwork so much paper work. Anyway besides that today was good, because its just APEL and lab. i love my Mondays and Wednesdays. =)

Well the main purpose of this entry is not so much to complain but rather to put up a song to encourage my friends out there who are struggling be it with poly or any other issues. Especially for a certain someone whom has impacted my life.


Il Divo - I Believe in You

Lonely
The path you have chosen
A restless road
No turning back
One day you
Will find you light again
Don't you know
Don't let go
Be strong

Follow you heart
Let you love lead through the darkness
Back to a place you once knew
I believe, I believe, I believe
In you

Follow your dreams
Be yourself, an angel of kindness
There's nothing that you can not do
I believe, I believe, I believe
In you.

Tout seul
Tu t'en iras tout seul
Coeur ouvert
A L'univers
Poursuis ta quete
Sans regarder derriere
N'attends pas
Que le jour
Se leve

Suis ton etoile
Va jusqu'ou ton reve t'emporte
Un jour tu le toucheras
Si tu croix si tu croix si tu croix
En toi
Suis la lumiere
N'eneins pas la flamme que tu portes
Au fonds de toi souviens-toi
Que je croix que je croix que je croix
Que je croix
En toi

Someday I'll find you
Someday you'll find me to
And when I hold you close
I'll know that is true

Follow your heart
Let you love lead through the darkness
Back to a place you once knew
I believe, I believe, I believe in you

Follow your dreams
Be yourself, an angel of kindness
There's nothing that you can not do
I believe, I believe, I believe
In you.

| Answers to the name Joshua - 11:26 PM | 0 Comments |




Firstly i would like to wish my mummy a
HAPPY Mother's Day.
My mum is and will always be the very very best. =)


Now i shall pick off where i left yesterday. Well, i honestly have been very tired in the last 3 weeks and everyday just seems to get worst, I'm like at a very big disadvantage to my fellow course mates because i so happen to have only taken combined science (phy/chem) whereas most of them at least took Bio or Pure Chem or at the least A maths. In another course this would not have mattered but in my case where most stuff is Bio/chem related well. I'm losing big time and finding it super hard to cope. And it didn't help when they decided to compare the number of A's they got in class the other day. Turns out my one distinction is nothing compared to them who have 3 and above. So yes, i was feeling inferior.

Now i say 'was' because well as i was feeling down a certain friend tried to cheer me up and i must say i was quite thankfully for that. However deep down i still had doubts and worries and i really asked God how was going to cope. And as usual He somehow managed to speak to me again. This time however i realised that it was not only the area of studies that i was feeling tired/burned out. My ministry life has also declined and i found myself dragging myself to church.

Basically i was reminded of Philippians 4:13 again, and that my situations could be bad, but in contrast to Job, its really nothing. It was then i also realised that i had lost my first love. What happened to the passion i once had?.

Which is why i pray that Come what may, God, i want to run for You.

| Answers to the name Joshua - 10:24 PM | 0 Comments |




You Know your tired when one minute you feel like blogging and the next your eyes just hurt and want to close on you.

Note to self: Get more sleep or the results will be disastrous period. I shall post what i was going to say tomorrow.

| Answers to the name Joshua - 11:15 PM | 0 Comments |




Imagine this scenario for a minute.

Its 11pm at night, You log in to msn and you see a particular person with the 'online' status. You decide to talk to the person. The weird thing is the person in question doesn't reply. You ask yourself why.

If you haven't got it by now, let me just say it out, i fell asleep at 1030pm last night with my msn still logged in, yes its for real and i think someone will go 'AGAIN?!'. haha. I was superbly tired actually so i sort of dozed off after that entry last night.

So note to those who talk to me online. If i don't reply in say 20 mins, and its say past 11, its safe to assume I'm asleep. HAHA. =)

Ps. if its in the afternoon and I'm online and don't reply, its most likely I'm not around and my com mysteriously signed me in again, happens alot this days.

| Answers to the name Joshua - 8:41 PM | 0 Comments |




My Cpu is reaching retirement stage i can safely say. With the partially death or my graphics card i pretty much see lines and the colour is off. So much so I've moved most of my 'operations' to my lappie. But i still prefer it to my lappie sometimes not too sure why. Yes even in its current state i still insist on using it for my mail and Msn. =)

Com aside, been meaning to post the last few days but somehow i always seem so tired so i fall flat asleep rather early, Schools really getting to me i think. Must be BIO/BMS i think, since i know of CERTAIN people who seem to be in a harder course but actually more slack. =( i WANT ALSO.!!

Lost my train of thought, argh, something is wrong with me, so forgetful these days i always have to rely on my good friend (post it's) to remind me of what i need to do. Ok, i'll just talk about today then.

Today was fun. Class decided to come in formal ( well not actually) It was a ploy by some of them using Csas as the Smokescreen and i suspected it but i decided to play along anyway since it wold be quite fun. But only 1/3 came in formal tho, super SAD. But those who came decided to take pictures after lab which i might put up if i feel like it after i get them that is.

Right as i read though what i just wrote i realised how random this entry is. GG


| Answers to the name Joshua - 9:23 PM | 0 Comments |




You know how it is when you see people in a jovial mood and you just feel happy for them too.

Anyway my weekend's been rather good, not so much that i did alot but m0re i learnt alot in the times i spent in church (basically Cg and sermon this morning). Its as if God can read my mind sometimes you know, either that or really strange coincidences but i strongly do not believe in coincidence. Is this perhaps how God speaks to me?
Who Knows.. =)

Oh wells, the week draws to a start once more and I'm struggling with the subjects that seem so 'foreign'. God HELP me i pray.

| Answers to the name Joshua - 11:30 PM | 0 Comments |




What started as an irritation to the larynx has now gone on to the torrential flooding of the nasal cavities. In lay man terms, cough flu and the works.

Falling sick and I'm not too happy about it, i blame the lack of sleep and the bad weather. BAH. =(

Went down to GM today to collect my O level cert after like eons since i was told to collect it but can't be helped, only managed to find a time slot free today and since i was in the area i decided to visit my wonderful teachers. Its a pity some won't around though I'll probably only be able to go back when they move back to the newly renovated school. Alas. Same location but lest any memories to fall back on.

I honestly think i should sleep like super early tonight. Full long lecture day tomorrow and i have this feeling that if i don't get enough rest my body will seriously go on strike so till next time.


Thats the life of a BIO/BMS student.
Good night world.

| Answers to the name Joshua - 10:53 PM | 0 Comments |




Casting Crowns - Prodigal

Living on my own, thinking for myself
Castles in the sand, temporary wealth
Walls are falling down, storms are closing in
Tears have filled my eyes, here I am again

And I've held out as long as I can
Now I'm letting go and holding out my hand

Daddy, here I am again
Will You take me back tonight
I went and made the world my friend
And it left me high and dry
I drag Your name back through the mud
That You first found me in
Not worthy to be called Your son
Is this to be my end
Daddy, here I am
Here I am again

Curse this morning sun
Drags me in to one more day
Of reaping what I've sown
Of living with my shame
Welcome to my world
And the life that I have made
Where one day you're a prince
The next day you're a slave



| Answers to the name Joshua - 2:02 AM | 0 Comments |